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Balance between two brothers is one of the most challenging issues for parents. From the moment she starts waiting for her second baby, most parents worry about im Will I be able to love both of my children equally?. The idea of bringing a rival to the love affair with the first child gives many parents a sense of guilt. These difficult emotions experienced by the parent generally trigger the brother competition.
When the first child has a sibling, his feelings of anger are directed primarily to the parent. Then, as the baby grows up and partners with his toys, he can try to draw the parent on his side by knocking his brother. In general, younger siblings learn to attract the attention of others more quickly. It is observed that the older child is usually pouting and retreating while his brother becomes attractive in the eyes of others. It is common for the older child to sit on the mother's lap, suck on his thumb, and stay away and watch the guests play cheerfully with his brother.
Advice to Parents About Sister Jealousy:
• Give Responsibility to the Older Child: In general, parents tend to work hard to ensure that the older child does not feel jealousy and a sense of competition. However, learning to live with a brother is one of the most important experiences a child can have. In this process, it is more appropriate to give the older child the role of taking responsibility for the sibling and taking care of the good of the family to the extent that he accepts. You can give the older child age-appropriate baby care to feel involved: feeding the baby, bringing the diaper, holding him to calm down when he cries, or choosing the baby's clothes.
• Accept and Pose a Sense of Jealousy / Competition: Encouraging your older child to take responsibility for his or her brother does not mean you should ignore the feelings of jealousy and competition. For example; you can prepare your older child for the situation before you enter a crowded environment with your children. Herkes In general, everyone loves babies. But that doesn't mean they don't love you. If you feel lonely, if you are jealous of your brother, you can come and sit with me.. Then, when other people take care of the baby, take your older child with you and play with it.
• Spend time with your children: It is also important to take care to spend time alone with both of your children. If you are a working mother you can plan this break-even time for the weekend. You can talk about what you will do during the week. It is also useful to make sure that your time alone is as private and enjoyable as you say.
• Do not interfere with your children: You should avoid conflicts and fights that may arise between your children. If you get involved in the discussion between the two brothers, a triangle of non-solution is formed that can cause children to manipulate you. As long as you're together, the two of them can't learn to solve their problems together. When they try to involve you in the discussion “You know who is right and who is wrong I do not know. You have to solve it yourself. Ve and leave the room. When you no longer have the chance to take sides, you will see your children fight less.
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Specialist Psychologist (Family and Child Development)