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I'm currently about 10 weeks pregnant with my fourth child. Translation: I'm currently struggling to survive the peak of the worst morning sickness early pregnancy has to offer.
I know many of you share my daily routine right now: I wake up, and I'm instantly struck with panic. How am I going to make it through another long, brutal, 14-plus hours of this pure, unfiltered, cruel, and unrelenting hella-nauseous existence?
Just in case you aren't getting the picture, of just how nauseous I feel every, single, solitary millisecond of each second, minute, hour and day, here are 31 things that make me feel as if puking would be a welcome relief:
Brushing my teeth. Gag.
Waking up. Miserable.
Smelling other people's coffee. Why can't everyone else on earth just have a little empathy for the pregnant woman who CANNOT handle the scent of their oh-so-essential cups of morning Joe, wafting by? Especially when it's stale, people!
Smelling other people’s breath. Even my kids'. Sorry, girls.
Showering. Ugh. Early pregnancy has managed to ruin even this typically relaxing moment.
Certain cups. If I felt nauseous while drinking out a certain vessel previously, I can't use it again.
The smell of alcohol from 4 rooms away. If my husband was having a glass (bottle) of wine at a neighbor's house 40 houses from ours, I swear I'd be able to sniff it out.
When my husband drives too fast. Like being on a roller coaster.
Property Brothers. This show, or even a promo for this show, is beyond nauseating to me at this point in my pregnancy. Don't know why.
Thinking about eating pizza. Holy hell, I'm going to barf even writing this sentence.
Thinking about eating chocolate. Usually this is my favorite treat, but I am having a mega-aversion to anything sweet right now.
Blowdrying my hair. Something about dousing my head with hot air just makes me beyond nauseous. So right now, I'm all "wet hair, don't care."
Wiping my 3-year-old’s butt on the potty. Yeesh.
Cutting up fruit for my kids. SO gross. SO inexplicably GROSS.
Existing. Leave me here to die! Save yourselves!
Bright lights. Painful. Everywhere.
When my kids jump on the bed or couch where I’m sitting. Which they always do.
When my husband moves too much at night. And he always does.
Eating. At this point in my pregnancy, I basically live in a constant state of wondering if food will make me feel better or worse. It's neither, really. So most of the time, I'm not sure if what I'm munching is going to stay down, or come up.
Not eating. Equally uncomfortable and nauseating is having an empty stomach.
Every smell I haven’t mentioned so far.
Thinking about drinking orange juice, or even watching someone else drink it. The same can be said for any other beverage.
Cooking. Because I'm not going to eat it.
Alec Baldwin. Can't explain it.
Grocery shopping. Same idea.
Getting dressed. Just. Want. To. Wear. Robe. Everywhere.
Sofia the First. Her voice annoyed me before I was pregnant, but now? Shudder.
Tuna fish from a can. Everything about it. Color, smell, texture. No.
Opinions expressed by parent contributors are their own.