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Sexual attraction plays a major role in bringing the two people together and the long-term relationship. It is up to couples to maintain this attraction during the marriage, which is expected to last a lifetime. Tips for maintaining sexual harmony and the role of sexual life in a healthy marriage Psychiatrist Aslıhan Tokgöz from Memorial Hospital It explains.
: What should be considered for a happy sexual intercourse?
Psychologist. Aslıhan Tokgöz: Sexual intercourse is the most important part of an ongoing healthy marriage. A mutually satisfactory sexual intercourse does not happen automatically. Couples need to spend their labor. Like other characteristics of personality, the sexuality of each partner is unique. Each partner should be respectful and understanding while approaching sexuality. There are important points to be considered about sexuality in marriage.
: What are these points?
Psychologist. Aslıhan Tokgöz: Sexuality and other parts of marriage are interrelated and can affect each other. For example, financial problems or conflicts can lead to a reduction in sexual desires. Personal innova- tions are also an important factor. With regard to sexuality, each spouse has different views about what is “right göre and what is“ wrong göre. In real life, there is no “right” or “wrong ide in the sexual relationship between the two spouses. However, each spouse has beliefs about acceptable or unacceptable behavior. Personal beliefs need to be approached and respected with understanding, but a common path can be found in this framework. Couples should also be open to innovation. On the mutual agreement of both partners, it is necessary to make efforts to save sexuality from being routine and boring. In this sense, it may be a good idea to add to your sexuality. Try to learn more about your partner's sexuality. Femininity and masculinity are an unknown; be open to learning about this obscurity and help each other out.
: Is there any benefit for the partners to talk about sexual life?
Psychologist. Aslıhan Tokgöz: As with other marital problems, a satisfactory healthy sexual intercourse depends on mutual communication. Try to solve the problems you have encountered in your relationship without delay, so that they do not affect your sexual intercourse. It is very difficult to be romantic and respond to your partner's sexual desires, as long as there are problems in you. Don't be afraid to talk about your sex life with your partner. Share your loved ones, dislikes, wishes, feelings, fantasies with your partner. Share and learn together. However, it is important to remember that your expectations for a healthy marriage must be realistic. Often, if not all, there are mythical expectations of marriages. If the realities within the marriage do not match these myths, one or both of the spouses may think that they have made many big mistakes.
: Should a good marriage be romantic?
Psychologist. Aslıhan Tokgöz: All relations have ups and downs. Sometimes difficulties in marriage can cover romantic feelings. There is a time when all couples feel love and again all couples do not feel love. But just not feeling love in emotions doesn't mean that love isn't there. A married person has neither strength nor sufficient ability to make another happy. Happiness comes from within. The marital relationship has an auxiliary or supportive role for the person's happiness and well-being, but it is not the main source of happiness.
: Can only love overcome all problems?
Psychologist. Aslıhan Tokgöz: Marriage always needs attention. Marriage is like a fine knitting needlework. One night is not a job. It has fine details and needs to be precise. If spouses are consistently and consistently approaching each other's needs and expectations precisely and can adapt to changes in the relationship, then love and affection are sustained and problems are overcome more easily. A healthy sexual intercourse then occurs.
: Does conflict in marriage mean that love is low?
Psychologist. Aslıhan Tokgöz: Conflicts and conflicts in marriage are inevitable, but they do not have to harm marriage. Spouses have different perspectives and different emotions depending on their backgrounds, the environments in which they grew up and the events they have experienced. These differences do not mean that one spouse is right and the other is wrong; it only means that spouses have different thoughts and feelings. Conflicts can even be healthy for a relationship if properly resolved. Because the spouses will learn from each other new ideas and new perspectives. The important thing is that two different people can live together in harmony. One should not forget the following point. No matter how smart a wife is, or no matter how strong a personal trait it is, she cannot have the ability to read what's going on in her brain. Emotional, physical, social and financial needs and expectations should be communicated clearly orally. If the spouse has the power to meet that need or expectation in a realistic way, it must first be aware of the existence of such a need and expectation.